I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
