would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
