Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
