Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
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Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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