She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Come share oat with me in your robe
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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