ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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