My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
