Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
