i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
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My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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