her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
