does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
