Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
