its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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