Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
