So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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