If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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