Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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