i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
