Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
