Sry I called you an 8
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize