could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
