In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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