i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
