Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
