Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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