Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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