so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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