I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
