he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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