Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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