My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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