when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
