Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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