Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Randomize
