Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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