discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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