I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
