just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
