Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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