It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
