i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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