i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
