I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
