that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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