I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
