Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
