When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
