there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
