Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the day after is always just damage control
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
