worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the day after is always just damage control
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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