I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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