She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
