That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
