just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
