I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We have so much sex to catch up on
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
