her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
