I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
