I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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