Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
