I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
