i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
