you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
