trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize