Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
